We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
