so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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