He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Randomize
