I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
