So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
