gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
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