You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
