I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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