I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
