I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
