btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
