She is in my trunk
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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