FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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