WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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