I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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