If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
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