Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
