Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
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