I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Randomize
