if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I want to walk on stilts...naked
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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