he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
