This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
