I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
