OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
