Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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