did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
