things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I didn't notice because vodka
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
