He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
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