Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
