I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
