In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
