They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
There r osticjed everywhere
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
