Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
