I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
