you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
