I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
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