**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
My liver just had a heart attack.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
