Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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