I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
