Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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