I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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