I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
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