I only kidnapped one of them. chill
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
