wanna go halves on a baby?
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
