and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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