Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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