WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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