Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
