And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
