Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
