Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Can you bring me the toilet please
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
