you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
