I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
