i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Randomize
