I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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