And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
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