So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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