I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
