hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Randomize
