So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
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