we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
