so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
