she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Randomize
