GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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