I met the friendliest cop last night
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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